Archive for December, 2009

Test

This is only a test

Le Crockashit

Question:

Why are Le Creuset dutch ovens (hehe) $229.00?

No, really. what is the reason? The iron is from France so I should be impressed?

And why do I want one so bad?

I guess they do last forever because my mom still has an orange one from 1987. And I distinctly remember Queen Latifah had a whole Le Creuset collection on MTV’s Cribs. And we all know the Queen dictates what is necessary for proper, civilized cuisine.

So now I must have one.  To make my fancy, bourgeoisie, french macaroni and cheese. Or hot dog and bean casserole.

Edit: My mother has informed me that her precious pot is from 1983. She says she bought it at an outlet store right off 95, on a whim, while driving home from Florida. But I didn’t get my $40 Cozy Coupe?  A-ha. It all falls into place.

Dusk

Someone need to update this blog.

You know what I love? This exact time of day in winter. I am sitting here, looking out at the sunset, a pink sky ablaze. The bare tree branches poking over the tops of buildings, those stupid geese swimming in the pond, lackadaisical.

 I can pick up this handy little remote and click on the Christmas lights on the balcony. Raucous and flashing. Obnoxious. I clicked it again. OFF.

My Dad, the english teacher, would always recite that Robert Frost poem on evenings like this. Well, maybe not recite. He would say, as we walked to the car, “The darkest evening of the year..”

I had to learn and recite that poem when I was in second grade. And I still remember every word.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

Halp

People of the Intrawebs!

Where can I go to get a hip, new, coolest kid in class THEME for this blog without spending lots of $$? Is it possible?

WordPress’ themes are not very fun.

Also, is it possible to change the blog name? Because I set up cristinsblog on the spot, and really, I could do so much better.

Please!

Creativity. I used to have it. Need some more.

I Heart Kristen Wiig..So…Much

I’m sorry, but am I the only one who thinks Kristen Wiig is a comical genius?

http://www.hulu.com/embed/mVntmoUiY8Zxe1_oNpOw0g”></param><param

This stupid clip starts out tedious and bland but then she goes bat-shit crazy and I can’t help but laugh out loud. Something about anyone on SNL crashing through a plate-glass window or breaking a coffee table gets me every time. Mary Katherine Gallagher, Chris Farley as the motivational speaker, I don’t care who you are, that’s funny shit.

P.S. It took me 20 minutes to figure out how to embed that video clip into this lame ass post. Hell, I still don’t even know if it’s the right one. Like I had anything else to do. I am new at this, please gimme a break.

P.S.S. No, it will not embed clip. Just a link? Lame.  Sorry!

If I had a hammer…

Megan Fox and I have a few things in common.

I know, it’s so obvious, but bear with me… We both have dark brown hair and blue eyes. We both suck at acting.  We are both sexy as hell. And we both have HAMMER THUMBS.

I kid you not. Somehow, she and I share a chromosomal abnormality that I cannot put my finger on. PUN!

(This is where I should insert a picture of my identical thumb, but I cannot, because digital camera is broken. Apologies.) Please take my word for it. I have retarded thumbs.

Here’s another visual example:

I could show you a picture of my big toe and it would look the same as this phalange.

I have questioned its origin my entire life. My mother, naturally, told me it was nothing.  Not until I was in nursing school did I ever hear the words “clubbed fingernails.” And then I absorbed what knowledge I could, but, it led nowhere.

All of my little sister’s nails are clubbed. ALL of them. And she is beautiful and healthy and more successful than I am. She does not have one thing wrong with her.

So what is the meaning of this fluke of nature?

I have no idea.  Wanna join the club? 

(CLUB.)

I really am out out of dish soap

Sunday afternoon!

It’s raining. The sky is falling. I am trying really hard to get up off this damn couch and work out. But all I want to do is watch Eloise at Christmas Time. I’ll work out at 2:30. 2:35 at the latest, definitely.

Maybe.