Rocky Mountain High

John Denver’s got nothing on this.

So, I’ve never really gone into the details of my medical mystery. My symptoms are so vague. Headache, muscle and joint pain, fatigue and my favorite, general malaise. These symptoms are eerily close to another malady I have already been diagnosed with.

DEPRESSION. And my other best friend,

Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis. (Lovingly referred to as “Quasimodo’s.)

So my doctor said, “ you get headaches, that’s weird.  Try some Topamax! So I did, for months.

I finally saw an endocrinologist after a co-workers urging. This was right before Halloween. She put me on Synthroid and told me to get some blood work done in 6 weeks to check my levels. I explained that I didn’t feel like myself. I believe I specifically said, “Dr. G, I FEEL LIKE CRAP.” So she ordered some more tests and sent me on my way. I have had Hashimoto’ since 2004 and was taking generic Levoxyl.

Since then I have had AWFUL, throbbing headaches, mysterious low-grade fevers, swollen glands. I could go on. I took time off of my job to rest and was subsequently fired.

I saw a neurologist who ordered an MRI. Negative.

I saw an ear, nose and throat doctor that thought I had chronic sinusitis. Another MRI. Negative.

I really started  to think I was losing my mind and the world’s biggest hypochondriac.

Just last week I went to the lab to get my blood drawn. They took nine vials of blood. 9. NINE!


The results:

Congratulations, you have Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever!

I’m sorry, come again?

I talked to the endo today. I said “Listen, lady, I never had a high fever, a rash, or any of this stuff I am reading about.”

She assured me that I tested positive for an active infection and asked if I had been bitten by a tick recently.

Ticks. Ticks…

Yes, actually. In May. The dog had ticks. I found a tick under my bra strap on my back. I didn’t think I was bitten. It wasn’t attached.

Long story short (too late) I have been sick from a goddamn tick.

This is the tick that made me sick.

Hey y'all!

 And this is the dog that had a tick. The tick that bit, and made me sick.

Whut? I dint mean it. Let's have some more blueberries, k?

So, is that it?

I was bit by that one special tick that carried this fancy, elusive disease? Dirty tick.  Tricksy.

You know that tick was out whoring it up and got me sick because of it’s sexually liberated lifestyle. Go back to your flop house, tick and leave us decent civilians alone!

 So here I am. With my 21 day regime of Doxycycline. 

God, I hope this works.

I bet John didn’t have to deal with this shit.

Ma'am my song has nothing to do with ticks

Alright, sorry.


One response to this post.

  1. Oh my god! I have a Pug too! Or is that a baby Boxer?? No, its a Pug right? hm.


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